Transitions: Football Edition

Well here we are back in VA, less than 48 hours till football camp starts. The transition back to VA is always harder for me than Alfred. Maybe I should say the return to football season is always harder for the wives than for the husbands. These guys live for Sunday's and a large part of America does too when football season rolls around. As a wife, I spend July savoring every last minute with my hubz. I savor long days spent together, energetic conversations on laying down in the grass post workouts, the last chance of the year to travel together, and his vibrant (rather than tired) eyes. If I had to be honest, I get the most alive and vibrant part of Alfred when football isn't in season. Football takes a lot of energy, and luckily I completely understand that being a former college athlete.

When season starts life does a complete turn around. Overnight our life and schedule changes. In the off season our days are full of each other all the time and much less stress than in season. Off season is every wife's dream and it's what we push through season for. (It's probably only your dream if you get along with your husband though!) Off season is that light at the end of the tunnel, especially if you are experiencing a losing season.

Seriously, off season is similar to what retirement must feel like but you still have to workout in this retirement plan. Bummer!!! We wake up (when not traveling) and talk about our plans for that day over our breakfast. Breakfast is by far my favorite meal and morning is my favorite time of day, and off season allows me to share those simple things with Alfred! Our plans are easily adjustable according to how we wake up feeling. This past off season I had an ever growing belly, and how I felt determined if we did only yoga that day, cardio and/or weights. The only thing we did consistently 4-5 days a week is work out. We hide out at places where no one knows Alfred plays football, and if they do know they really just don't care!

We travel a lot in the off season. This year we went to:

-a wedding plus the showers & bachelor/bachelorette parties for it    

-West Coast for a NFL marriage conference (Alfred went surfing for the first time while we were there!) 

-Arizona for the pro bowl, then did a quick road trip between the pro bowl game and the super bowl events to the Grand Canyon (We left before the super bowl so we could avoid all the craziness surrounding that game!)

- The rest of the time we crash with family since we don't have a house or our own yet!

In off season we just kinda fall off the map and lay as low as possible, which allows us to avoid a lot of the normal in season stressors. We go where we are treated totally normal. That down time/traveling is our oasis and our shelter from the storm of craziness! Such a huge blessing to recover from season. 

My favorite part of in-season is getting to watch Alfred play and enjoy doing it. He loves the game and I love to see him doing his thing. But football season represents the 6 months out of the year that my hubz is pulled in a million different directions. Not only is his job extremely stressful physically, but it's also stressful emotionally, mentally and spiritually. In season he is understandably much more tired as well. On top of his tiredness and me secretively growing a baby last season, we did community service on his weekly off day every single week last year. That meant down time is far and few between for him. That is a sacrifice that we are very willing to make because there will be a point in our lives where kids will no longer know who Alfred Morris is and they will no longer be infatuated after retirement from the league has set it.  We are truly trying to make the most of this NFL experience while we can by serving the community. To put everything in perspective, for the entirety of his season the only off time he had was bye week. Regardless of that all, I would definitely take the lack of time off in regular season over a 9-5 job simply because the off season makes it worth it. 

Training camp is the marker of our summer break coming to an end. For 3 weeks Alfred will be almost 3 hours away living in a hotel with his teammates. So the first transition of the year is that we go from weeks of literally going everywhere and doing everything together and then we are suddenly apart a lot more. This situation as well as us originally being long distance has had the ability to make me comfortably independent. I love love love having Alfred around, but when he is so busy in season and away a lot, I get to the point of easily managing things by myself. One of those things also now includes a baby! I exclusively breastfeed and that has been a blessing in disguise because Alfred can't get up with Josiah at night since he obviously isn't the milk maker! That has enabled me to adjust and transition to being independent in caring for Josiah at night which will make the transition to season MUCH easier!!!

The start of regular season games also marks the time of year that people want favors, all the time. People are more likely to want Alfred to attend an event (those are endless), to want game tickets (that aren't free), to visit on a home game weekend or to call in need of a financial emergency. For the people coming to a game or for a weekend, that visit marks a much anticipated weekend full of adventure and excitement! Games are extremely exciting, no doubt. But whereas football is entertainment for others, football is our income. Football represents a fun yet very normal part of our life. Football is Alfred's work. For others I'm sure it seems surreal but for us this is our life! So as a wife to a current active player, a lot of visitors isn't always ideal. This is because visitors mean losing the little alone family time that is available on a home game weekend that I get with my boo thang! 

But I'll totally take this girl visiting!!!

A typical in season week looks like this:

- Monday: half day for Alfred plus extra time to take care of his body to recover from the game 

- Tuesday: off day, community service for us

- Wednesday: full day of work for Alfred, wives bible study for me, plus church that night for us both

- Thursday: Full day of work for Alfred  and team couples bible study that night 

- Friday: shorter work day, afternoon massage for Alfred (not the feel good kind)

- Saturday: Morning walk through for Alfred, lunch date for us if there is time (translation: chick fil a in the back of the jeep normally), flight that afternoon for an away game or a bus ride to the hotel that evening if it's a home game weekend 

Sunday: Game day!!!

It's a huge adjustment going from months of constant togetherness to the in season grind. As always, I am sad to see off season coming to an end but it's that time of year again! Such excitement surrounds every season and I am thrilled to see what God has in store for us this season and in the next year! 

Share

Life is meant to be shared. Oftentimes we find ourselves craving privacy after spending too much time in the DMV. (For my Florida peeps: that's the DC, Maryland and Virginia area. Aka the most likely territory for Alfred to get recognized in.) For us, privacy means normalcy. We experience a mixture of emotions, when you feel normal and act normal but get treated like you aren't normal. 

People in the DMV treat us abnormally.  If we come into your restaurant we don't want a free meal because he plays football, we just want a peaceful meal without being interrupted by other customers or the restaurant employees. Then there are the people who recognize Alfreds car. Yes, his 1991 car that's older than me gets recognized due to a free makeover done by Mazda. That makeover got way more publicity than we would've ever expected. So occasionally, he has had to swerve or slam on breaks to avoid an overly ecstatic fan waving and swerving in our direction. If we are really lucky, we will be stopped at a light in DC and have people on the streets pointing and taking pictures of our car. (That's just plain creepy!) Also there was the man taking our ID's at the airport. He clearly didn't realize Alfred and I were together and rudely told him to step back behind the line until they took care of me. But, then he suddenly became SOOO enthusiastic and sweet when he saw an ID saying "Alfred Morris" and sent us off with a sweet and loving "Go Redskins." Its endless in the DMV, that's why I wouldn't raise my children there. (That's a post waiting to happen.) Needless to say, it can be hard to find genuine people to share our life with. 

The thing is that, life is meant to be shared. Our God is a God who is relational and He has designed us to be that way as well. That is one reason why our annual "couples retreat" has been a huge blessing to us. We just finished our 3rd retreat today and it makes me so proud that the same 3 couples, including us, have managed to make our retreat such a priority in our busy lives.

Three retreats ago, we decided that we should all get together. We went into year one with zero anticipation, that what was then just a simple get together, would actually become an annually thought out couples retreat. 

Year one we all knew the struggle of pursuing a Godly relationship with our significant other. Temptations are real and can be overwhelming at times. For us, finding other couples willing to wait until marriage to have sex was far and few between. That alone bonded us. We could relate to one another and find comfort in the fact that we no longer were facing these hardships alone. The power of prayer is amazing and for the past 2 years, from the first retreat to the third we have all covered each other in prayer. 

By year two Alfred and I were married. One couple down and two to go! The second year we incorporated a quiz that helped us evaluate a few things. First it was full of questions about why we fell in love, and secondly it questioned us about if we were praying enough for our significant other and what exactly we were praying for. Retreat number two was an awesome turning point because we were coming together for the purpose of encouragement, spiritual growth and of course tons of fun and laughter still! We genuinely left the second retreat hearts full of encouragement, love, spiritual growth and hope for our futures. 

Retreat number three, we are all now married, and we have a 7th wheel now attending: Baby Morris!!! We all accomplished our goal of waiting until marriage with the loves of our lives! God is great. We now fully expect to find ourselves challenged by whatever study we do prior to showing up! This year we read the book "you and me forever" by Francis and Lisa Chan. I seriously suggest this book to all single, dating and married people. We were able to share our favorite parts of this book and why these apply to us in our marriages. (Because we all have marriages now!!! Sorry, still a little overjoyed and excited about that!) It was such good fellowship hearing couples share their struggles and finding comfort because we completely relate to them! 

God was so great to bring these people in our lives at just the right time and I know more than anything He wants us to share life with them. Doing life with genuine people who want nothing but God's best for you is breathtaking and refreshing. I know it's hard to find people who can be your encouragement, but pray for these types of people to enter your life. Everyone needs more people who will lift you up and positively encourage you! 

—Proverbs 17:17 A friend loves at all times and a brother is born for adversity